Caretaker and Little 101: In the Public Space

When a caretaker and a little settle down together, there is generally always a set of guidelines and rules which are agreed upon. One of the many conversations that comes up is how to act/exist in public. There are a few main rules that usually get decided on relating to this:

  • Are diapers required?
  • Is diaper usage required?
  • Is acting/being treated little required?
  • Does this change depending on the environment?

Let's break down these different questions one by one!

Are diapers Required?

This is probably going to be my most hardlined position but... Yes. Removing diapers when in public rather than at home removes all the work towards normalizing the concept. It's saying to the little, "Your underwear is only acceptable sometimes, and other times it isn't." The caretaker is setting the precedent that diapers are the little's de facto underwear, and once that's established, both should be all in.[1]

Remember that a diaper, like most other items the little puts on, is just a piece of clothing, and is essential in creating a full outfit for them. A diaper underneath pants has no effect on anyone around them unless they make it have an effect. A good realization every little in diapers should have is...

  1. No (non-ABDL) person can hear or see your diapers, despite how much you think it embarrassingly bulges.
  2. If they hear your crinkles or see your bulge, they will never make the connection to diapers. There are 100 other more regular reactions a (non-ABDL) person would consider before attributing it to a diaper.
  3. If after all that they realize it's a diaper, they will assume it's medical, and ignore it.

That is not to say there is not exceptions to the 24/7 rule. I will touch on this later on.

Is diaper usage required?

Instead of saying diaper usage is required, I'm going to say that potty usage is prohibited.

Chances are, littles will only spend 1-2 hour bursts outside the home, not including work. This makes the problems of potty become a lot more minimal. Any wetting accidents will be fine in a single diaper, and any messing accidents can be held off until when more appropriate.

The reason a little doesn't get a 'potty like a big kid' free card outside is because it promotes antithetical behavior like holding accidents until they're in public. This is incompatible to the ABDL lifestyle at home. The little and caretaker have a mutually understood agreement that as a little, they are to be treated like a little. While this is in varying degrees, the central point for many ABDLs is tied directly to diapers.[2] The implicit rule that first and foremost, they are to be in diapers. The reminder that diapers are where little's use the bathroom is a constant reminder of being little.

Another important thing to consider however is the impact on the public of usage. Wearing diapers cause no burden on anyone surrounding the little. Usage, however, can effectively burden others with your lifestyle choices, which is rule #1 you should never break.

Never unwillingly drag others into your fantasy.

While urinating a diaper is effectively benign, not changing in due time while in public can create odors and potential leakage, which is unacceptable in public. Messing is significantly worse. If at all possible, bowel movements should be prevented or at least held off as long as possible. If such an accident does occur, or a leak occurs, it's up to the caretaker to take swift and effective action. This can mean a change in a family bathroom, or time to go home, but the little needs to be removed from the situation immediately.

Finally a reminder to caretakers:

  • Always have a diaper bag (backpacks work great!)
  • Bring more than one diaper
  • Bring extra pants and socks

Nothing will make the little one blush more than needing to have their diaper changed in a family bathroom because they couldn't hold it.

Is acting/being treated little required?

What is acting little? What is being treated little?

Is it being cooed at and told to use your diaper? Erotic fiction might have you believe that, but I won't.

A caretaker 'treating' a little one little means facilitating the feelings and emotions associated with feeling younger. How does one do that? You don't tell someone to act a certain way or to do a certain thing. Adults need to want to do a thing to do it. It is the job of a caretaker to make a little willingly stop acting like an adult. And that's a tall task.

That being said, treating a little in public should be a similar extension as to how they treat the little at home. Remember that most important idea in a Caretaker and Little's relationship is the normalization. A little cannot thrive if they feel like they cannot be themselves.

A little should not feel public hinders the little side of them. While pacifiers can no longer be in their mouth, there's nothing wrong with holding hands. While they can't explicitly ask for their Daddy or Mommy, they can still submit to their caretaker's guidance. The juggle is to allow the little to express their mannerisms and make them feel accepted for that while not creating a scene.

The little should act and be treated little in public, but what that means doesn't have to be nearly as overt or intrusive into daily life as it sounds. The caretaker should facilitate an environment everywhere where the little feels comfortable acting as they feel. The little one at the same time can still look to their caretaker as a source of guidance and encouragement, and be true to themselves without being obscene.

Does this change depending on the environment?

You really are living a fantasy if you believe that there won't be times where diapering needs to stop. Sometimes it'll be family gathering and sometimes it'll be an emergency, but there will always be occasions where this kink needs to be paused for life's other events.

However, what doesn't and shouldn't change, is the bond between a caretaker and a little. Even if the little is out of diapers, that does not imply they're not still a little. The caretaker is still responsible for all the mental and emotional aspects of caretaking.

Diapers don't make the baby.

The caretaker/little bond takes on a more platonically inclined relationship without padding. There still exists the support structure of a caretaker, and the energy and imagination of a little. Hone that into conversation rather than snuggles. Still entertain all the personality quirks that are inherent. Realize that the dynamic is much deeper than physical items. A break every now and then from diapering truly tests the compatibility of this type of relationship.

In conclusion, Yes.

Thanks for reading! I'm currently looking for an editor, so if you would like to toss your hat it, it's definitely appreciated. I'm also looking for other contributors, so if you like the concept of this blog and want to create content, please shoot me an email at

  1. This is of course considering that the caretaker and little have sufficient funding. I would be remiss if I failed to point out the reality that this lifestyle is costly. In reality, no kink should go above sufficiently living. The rest of this article will be considering from the point of view that you do indeed have enough money to sufficiently go 24/7. ↩︎

  2. This is different for ABDLs from littles. ABDLs inherently see the need of a diaper in roleplay, where as littles see diapers as a tool to incite little play. All ABDLs who have an AB side are little while not all littles are ABDL. ↩︎

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